Today I did something I wasn’t proud of. I had a knee-jerk reaction and acted out of self righteous anger that I quickly regretted. I signed a petition to have @mrkennethtong removed from Twitter.
You might be thinking, “Ummm, ok where’s the problem here?”. He does stand for everything that I stand against. Dangerously promoting anorexia as a way of life is something that makes my insides crawl. The backlash against him has been understandably severe. People have been writing essays, tweets and petitions denouncing Mr. Tong, and plenty of them have crossed the line from simply stating a contrary opinion, to being mean and hateful. I had an eating disorder, and some of the comments that Mr. Tong has made make my blood boil (and I part of me still cannot believe I am even defending him in the slightest), but there are a few reasons why I think that fellow tweeps should think before they rip Mr. Tong a new one:
- It’s freedom of speech, baby. And before you start sending ME nasty comments, let me clarify: I realize that freedom of speech does not extend to Twitter (e.g. the Twitter brass can pull the plug whenever they choose, and in @mrkennethtong ‘s case that might not be such a bad idea). Basically my point is that we are free to have our own opinions (as dangerous and f**ked up as they may be). I realize that I say things on Twitter that other people may find offensive (my frequent use of the F-word for example), but they are just as free to unfollow me and never let our Twitter paths cross again. I find this my most tenuous argument, by the way, as my offensive speech does not incite unsafe acts. (So basically don’t send me nasty emails on this point!!!)
- Mr. Tong has a problem. I didn’t have to read a single one of his tweets to know that. In his profile he states the he is, “Proudly supporting controlled anorexia”. There is no such thing as controlled anorexia. I would believe you more if you told me that the Toothfairy and Santa Claus had set up shop in the back of my local Wal Mart. But that’s the beauty, and curse, of having an eating disorder. It’s always “under our control”. Ask us to stop and we’ll tell you we could if we wanted to, we just don’t feel like it right now. We go along damaging our bodies beyond belief thinking that I’m in charge, I’m in control of all of this, nothing can go wrong as long as I don’t let go of my rigid grasp of this one aspect of my life. But then food becomes an all consuming focus; avoiding it, counting it, purging it; and that is something we cannot control. Then we have a mental illness. Hear that tweeples? A MENTAL ILLNESS…something that we cannot control. Granted most of us don’t go around preaching our disease; trying to get others to join us at our temple of sick, but that does not change the fact that what Mr. Tong really needs isn’t hateful Twitter posts, but a nice long stay in a treatment facility. The fact that he says that he “proudly” advocates anorexia just shows how deeply he is consumed by his disorder. A person suffering with an eating disorder should never feel ashamed, but they should never feel proud about being sick either. Mr. Tong’s tweets are the product of somebody who needs help, and clearly is suffering from some sort of pain. I do not know Mr. Tong (and quite frankly I do not care to) so I do not know what happened in his life to make him feel such a sense of not being good enough the way he is. Everybody deserves to feel like they are worthy of UNCONDITIONAL love, and I have no idea as to how Mr. Tong was so damaged as to not believe he too has this right; not just when he is skinny. When viewed in this context, his comments start becoming less offensive and more sick-sounding, and almost sad.
- Perhaps the most upsetting part of this whole mess is that banning Mr. Tong from Twitter will not magically cure his nearly 19,000 followers (not a typo - depressing, huh?). The sad fact is that thinspo is everywhere online; even on Twitter. If Mr. Tong was to be removed his followers would get their encouragement from somebody else. Eating disorders are an unfortunate and f**ked up part of our world; eliminating one man from one website wont change that. I believe that one positive voice in the midst of a sea of thinspo can do wonders for starting others on a path to recovery, much more so than attempting the impossible task of trying to eliminate all of the negative influences present around us. That’s why I tweet, and I blog, and even on days when I feel like this positivity stuff is bullsh*t; I do it anyways, because you never know when a little light a the end of the tunnel might be all that one person needs to get them moving in the right direction.
Much love and health,
Melly
